77 Things I Want My Daughters To Know

My youngest daughter just turned 14 and I can’t help wondering how the time went so fast - just as I did when my son turned 20 and my eldest daughter turned 18! The speed of motherhood is endlessly surprising to me - there really are times when I feel as if I’ve blinked and years have raced by. On the one hand, I still feel as if my own teenage years where just moments ago and at the same time it feels like forever since I brought these tiny beings home from the hospital. Time becomes very distorted as we get older, don’t you think?

Like every mother, I’m proud of my kids. They are all strong, passionate, funny and have enriched my life in ways I never imagined. And yes, they’ve all driven me crazy at times. Like most mothers I am known to dispense a fair bit of advice, some of which is welcome and some most definitely not, but here are 77 things I want my girls in particular to know…

  1. Nothing you can do will ever make me love you less

  2. No matter what, we are in this together

  3. The right movie or book can solve everything

  4. Happily-ever-after takes a lot of hard work

  5. Don’t be afraid to love deeply, but be careful who you give your heart to

  6. You will get over a broken heart, chocolate always helps with this

  7. Respect other people’s opinions, even when you don’t agree with them. Sometimes it is those people who can teach us the most about ourselves and what we stand for

  8. A strong man isn’t afraid of a strong woman

  9. Compromise should never feel painful

  10. It’s okay to kiss a few frogs in order to find your prince (or princess)

  11. Don’t rely on others to make you happy, it really is an inside job

  12. Laughing with your friends can cure anything so make sure you nurture those relationships, and make sure you have a mix of male and female friends. Girlfriends are great but those guy friends are pretty damn special too

  13. Be proud of being half-kiwi and half-brit – being part of two cultures is a special gift

  14. Peer pressure sucks, but not as much as letting yourself down

  15. Embrace joy & laugh every day, if you need help call me, I’m pretty funny!

  16. Set goals but remember to enjoy the journey towards them

  17. If it feels wrong, it probably is wrong

  18. Know that the gift of intuition is valuable and grows stronger the more you use it. Always trust your intuition

  19. Being a woman is a powerful and beautiful thing, those that don’t understand that aren’t worth spending time with

  20. Love someone for what they are right now, not what you think they might become one day - they might never become that person. Sometimes you have to let go of people, even if you love them

  21. No matter how big you get I will always be able to hold you in my arms

  22. Reading is never a waste of time

  23. Enjoy adventures in books & movies, but don’t be afraid to have adventures in life too

  24. Travel as much as you can, and don’t just spend your time in hotels actually get out and see the places you visit. Learn about the culture and talk to those who live there, their stories will enrich your life and show you that we are all connected as humans; the world is a beautiful and diverse place and when we open ourselves up to that we become better people

  25. Never cease to be amazed by sunrises and sunsets

  26. Be careful with your words & never say anything behind someone’s back (or online) that you wouldn’t be prepared to say to their face  - your Great-Grandmother taught me that and it’s great advice

  27. Pick great role-models and be inspired by them, just remember that they are still human and nobody is perfect

  28. Dreams can come true – but they take work as well as wishing

  29. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, it is the best way to learn and you only really fail by not trying at all

  30. Be your own Best Friend. Believe in yourself, be kind in the words and thoughts you use about yourself and be your own cheerleader. When you believe in who you are, others will too

  31. Be passionate about something

  32. Don’t fight dirty but don’t be afraid to fight for what you believe in

  33. Not everybody in the world is nice but that doesn’t mean you can’t be

  34. Family matters

  35. If you don’t understand something don’t be embarrassed to ask, it’s better to risk looking silly than to miss the opportunity to learn. And you very rarely look silly

  36. Boys have feelings too, be as considerate with theirs as you want them to be with yours

  37. A bad haircut will always grow out. In the meantime, wear a hat or learn to rock a headscarf!

  38. Sex is meant to feel good for both of you

  39. Education is never wasted

  40. Celebrate the small things as well as the big, life is way more fun that way

  41. Be part of the solution not part of the problem

  42. Sometimes the past is worth remembering, but sometimes you have to let things go

  43. Vote

  44. Tolerance is not the same as compassion. Be compassionate.

  45. Being rich is not a bad thing, it is what you do with the money that matters

  46. Never be ashamed of yourself

  47. Meditation is magic and we all need magic in our life

  48. Remember that where and how you spend your money says a lot about you and your values

  49. Real women come in all shapes and sizes

  50. You don’t have to be happy all the time, nobody is

  51. It’s okay to get angry sometimes

  52. Never be afraid to apologise and always apologise when you need to

  53. Even when telling the truth seems hard it is always easier than maintaining a lie

  54. The world won’t end if your house doesn’t look like a magazine shoot, this you should know having lived with me!

  55. Use sunscreen - unless you want to look like a dried-up prune when you’re older!

  56. You don’t have to be anything but what you are right now to have my love

  57. Know that a woman who can make her own money will always be okay, no matter what life throws at her

  58. Drink plenty of water, it is the best health and beauty ‘trick’ in the world

  59. Doctors don’t always know everything… trust your instincts and be your own advocate

  60. I can be your friend but I’m always your mother first

  61. It’s okay if you don’t like me sometimes

  62. Don’t date someone who spends more time playing with their mobile phone than talking to you

  63. Road trips are amazing

  64. Take photographs, you’ll be glad of the visual memories one day

  65. You can always come home

  66. Going commando is never a good idea, especially in a short skirt

  67. You don’t have to finish everything, sometimes you learn what you need before you get to the end and that’s okay. But don’t let not finishing things become a habit

  68. People who don’t treat animals well are never nice people. Stay away from them

  69. Keeping an open mind is the greatest skill you can master

  70. Good manners never go out of style

  71. Ageing is a privilege, don’t waste it worrying about wrinkles

  72. Fashion should be fun, ignore the rules and wear what you like

  73. It’s never too late to follow another path

  74. Pay attention to what is going on in the world around you, not just in the news but culturally: interesting people are interested people

  75. There are far more good people in this world than bad, even if the news makes that feel unlikely

  76. Surround yourself with people who love you, support you, lift you up and aren’t afraid to tell you when you’re being an ass

  77. Never forget that you are beautiful inside and out & I love you

 
77 Things I want my daughters to know
 
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