77 Things I Want My Daughters To Know
My youngest daughter just turned 14 and I can’t help wondering how the time went so fast - just as I did when my son turned 20 and my eldest daughter turned 18! The speed of motherhood is endlessly surprising to me - there really are times when I feel as if I’ve blinked and years have raced by. On the one hand, I still feel as if my own teenage years where just moments ago and at the same time it feels like forever since I brought these tiny beings home from the hospital. Time becomes very distorted as we get older, don’t you think?
Like every mother, I’m proud of my kids. They are all strong, passionate, funny and have enriched my life in ways I never imagined. And yes, they’ve all driven me crazy at times. Like most mothers I am known to dispense a fair bit of advice, some of which is welcome and some most definitely not, but here are 77 things I want my girls in particular to know…
Nothing you can do will ever make me love you less
No matter what, we are in this together
The right movie or book can solve everything
Happily-ever-after takes a lot of hard work
Don’t be afraid to love deeply, but be careful who you give your heart to
You will get over a broken heart, chocolate always helps with this
Respect other people’s opinions, even when you don’t agree with them. Sometimes it is those people who can teach us the most about ourselves and what we stand for
A strong man isn’t afraid of a strong woman
Compromise should never feel painful
It’s okay to kiss a few frogs in order to find your prince (or princess)
Don’t rely on others to make you happy, it really is an inside job
Laughing with your friends can cure anything so make sure you nurture those relationships, and make sure you have a mix of male and female friends. Girlfriends are great but those guy friends are pretty damn special too
Be proud of being half-kiwi and half-brit – being part of two cultures is a special gift
Peer pressure sucks, but not as much as letting yourself down
Embrace joy & laugh every day, if you need help call me, I’m pretty funny!
Set goals but remember to enjoy the journey towards them
If it feels wrong, it probably is wrong
Know that the gift of intuition is valuable and grows stronger the more you use it. Always trust your intuition
Being a woman is a powerful and beautiful thing, those that don’t understand that aren’t worth spending time with
Love someone for what they are right now, not what you think they might become one day - they might never become that person. Sometimes you have to let go of people, even if you love them
No matter how big you get I will always be able to hold you in my arms
Reading is never a waste of time
Enjoy adventures in books & movies, but don’t be afraid to have adventures in life too
Travel as much as you can, and don’t just spend your time in hotels actually get out and see the places you visit. Learn about the culture and talk to those who live there, their stories will enrich your life and show you that we are all connected as humans; the world is a beautiful and diverse place and when we open ourselves up to that we become better people
Never cease to be amazed by sunrises and sunsets
Be careful with your words & never say anything behind someone’s back (or online) that you wouldn’t be prepared to say to their face - your Great-Grandmother taught me that and it’s great advice
Pick great role-models and be inspired by them, just remember that they are still human and nobody is perfect
Dreams can come true – but they take work as well as wishing
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, it is the best way to learn and you only really fail by not trying at all
Be your own Best Friend. Believe in yourself, be kind in the words and thoughts you use about yourself and be your own cheerleader. When you believe in who you are, others will too
Be passionate about something
Don’t fight dirty but don’t be afraid to fight for what you believe in
Not everybody in the world is nice but that doesn’t mean you can’t be
Family matters
If you don’t understand something don’t be embarrassed to ask, it’s better to risk looking silly than to miss the opportunity to learn. And you very rarely look silly
Boys have feelings too, be as considerate with theirs as you want them to be with yours
A bad haircut will always grow out. In the meantime, wear a hat or learn to rock a headscarf!
Sex is meant to feel good for both of you
Education is never wasted
Celebrate the small things as well as the big, life is way more fun that way
Be part of the solution not part of the problem
Sometimes the past is worth remembering, but sometimes you have to let things go
Vote
Tolerance is not the same as compassion. Be compassionate.
Being rich is not a bad thing, it is what you do with the money that matters
Never be ashamed of yourself
Meditation is magic and we all need magic in our life
Remember that where and how you spend your money says a lot about you and your values
Real women come in all shapes and sizes
You don’t have to be happy all the time, nobody is
It’s okay to get angry sometimes
Never be afraid to apologise and always apologise when you need to
Even when telling the truth seems hard it is always easier than maintaining a lie
The world won’t end if your house doesn’t look like a magazine shoot, this you should know having lived with me!
Use sunscreen - unless you want to look like a dried-up prune when you’re older!
You don’t have to be anything but what you are right now to have my love
Know that a woman who can make her own money will always be okay, no matter what life throws at her
Drink plenty of water, it is the best health and beauty ‘trick’ in the world
Doctors don’t always know everything… trust your instincts and be your own advocate
I can be your friend but I’m always your mother first
It’s okay if you don’t like me sometimes
Don’t date someone who spends more time playing with their mobile phone than talking to you
Road trips are amazing
Take photographs, you’ll be glad of the visual memories one day
You can always come home
Going commando is never a good idea, especially in a short skirt
You don’t have to finish everything, sometimes you learn what you need before you get to the end and that’s okay. But don’t let not finishing things become a habit
People who don’t treat animals well are never nice people. Stay away from them
Keeping an open mind is the greatest skill you can master
Good manners never go out of style
Ageing is a privilege, don’t waste it worrying about wrinkles
Fashion should be fun, ignore the rules and wear what you like
It’s never too late to follow another path
Pay attention to what is going on in the world around you, not just in the news but culturally: interesting people are interested people
There are far more good people in this world than bad, even if the news makes that feel unlikely
Surround yourself with people who love you, support you, lift you up and aren’t afraid to tell you when you’re being an ass
Never forget that you are beautiful inside and out & I love you
