20 Questions With Lorraine C. Ladish

Interviews

18 Oct

20 Questions With is a new series here on Loving Life After Forty, celebrating and featuring amazing women over 40. I’m so excited to launch this series with the fabulous Lorraine C. Ladish.

Lorraine is the founder and CEO of Viva Fifty! a bilingual community that celebrates being 50+, and she’s also an author, yoga teacher and mum. She is focused on helping empower women and others to achieve their goals and promoting positive ageing.

1 Name & Age

Lorraine Carbonell Ladish. I go by Lorraine C. Ladish. - just turned 56.

2 Who inspires you?

My daughters Chloe and Alexia. Chloe is 18 and is a fearless young woman who flew the coop this past summer. She works and saves her money for travel. She spent the summer traveling in Europe and Morocco. She moved from Florida, our home, to California with my sister, where she is a nanny and she is also taking a few classes in college. Alexia is 15 and has so many interests, like singing, art and boxing, and pursues them all. I wish I´d had an iota of their self-confidence when I was their age, but better late than never. My sister Laura, 2 years younger than me, also inspires me. She has overcome so many things in life, from an alcohol addiction to divorce and tons of loss. She is a warrior.

3 What are you loving most about your life after 40?

That I am more humble (life humbles you no matter what), self-aware and confident than I was in my 20´s, 30´s and even 40´s. I´m pretty sure this trend will continue. On looking back I have not changed in many other ways, which is great too: I have always been into sports, and I still am, I was always trying to better myself and I still am, I´ve always pursued my dreams, and I haven´t stopped.

4 What has been challenging about getting older?

One was and still is, dealing with menopause symptoms, although I take hormone replacement therapy. Another was a health challenges that brought me close to needing a colon resection. And the third and hardest by far, losing friends and family. Last year my grandmother passed away, but she was almost 102, so she lived a long life. It´s been harder and way more shocking to lose my best friend Belinda, who passed away in her early 50´s of cancer, leaving behind kids of the same age as mine. And only last week I lost two more friends. One in her fifties, and another in her early 70s. They were the kind of friends that are forever and it´s been quite the shock to lose them all so close in time. All to cancer.

5 What shifts would you like to see in the conversation around aging?

I wish it were talked about in school. I feel that I´m pretty good at showing my kids by example that there is a proactive way to age. But most people don´t have mothers who wear their age on their sleeve and do all kinds of crazy stuff despite that age. I feel we need to talk more about aging and even about death with our children. This way we could enjoy every single decade instead of spending life fretting about the next birthday. That said, I only had one age-related crisis so far, at 25. A quarter of a century sounded daunting and it made me feel anguished. But I was also in the throes of depression. I´ve never felt that scared again - at least not so far. I had my first kid at 37 and the second one at 40, so between raising them and keeping my own personal life and my career as a writer going, I haven´t had time to brood about aging.

6 Who is your biggest supporter?

My dad, my husband, my kids, my sister … But it´s mutual. We´re all there for one another as needed. I´m fortunate that my family and extended family are not conventional in many many ways. None of us has lead or leads a conventional life. And that keeps us all going.

7 What are you most grateful for?

Health. I don´t take it for granted. Resilience too. I´ve had many instances in life where I could have given up. I´ve been clinically depressed and suicidal. I´ve been a single mom on welfare. I´ve been a 5-year old without a mother. I´ve been the sibling of a person who attempted suicide but, thankfully, survived. And so much more. We all have tough moments in life. What matters is that we learn to cope and to learn from every experience.

8 What would your younger self think of you now?

She wouldn´t believe I got here in such good shape. And I don´t mean physically, although that too. There was a time in my life when I truly didn´t believe it was possible to exist without a heavy cloak of depression, or without being in the grip of a life-threatening eating disorder. I also didn´t think I could have children, and I did, and they turned out great so far.

9 Has there been a significant event that has changed your direction and/or outlook on life?

Every single failure, every single heartbreak, every single loss, has eventually made me stronger. If I was able to survive any of what I survived, I know I can get through other stuff too.

10 What do you love most about your work?

That as a writer and content creator I get to work from home and make my own schedule. I didn´t leave a corporate job to pursue a career as an entrepreneur. I´ve been self-employed from the age of 18. Back when I was younger, the fact that I hated having a regular office job and just couldn´t bring myself to do that seemed like it was a huge disadvantage. But I hated the concept of going to an office or having a regular job with fixed hours so very much that now I can say I made working for me work for close to four decades. That´s not bad. I´ve always made a living with words: translating, editing, writing, speaking ...

11 What’s next for you?

I never quite know that. But I recently finished my 500-hour training as a yoga teacher. I used to be a fitness and dance instructor when I was younger and at one point I was sure I didn´t want to teach again. Now I´m teaching yoga. And I´m a much more empathetic and compassionate teacher than I was in my 20´s and 30´s. I´m preparing my next book, while I manage my three web pages and continue to raise teens and be there for my eldest when she needs me.

12 What’s your morning routine?

Not too exciting. I drink a tall glass of water, feed the dog, then have a lot of coffee while I catch up on social media since that´s where I make a living creating content. After that, every day is different and I like it that way.

13 What makes you frustrated/sad?

My friends dying too soon after painful illnesses. Social injustice.

14 What makes you happy?

Knowing that my kids are happy makes me happy.

15 What do you wish other women knew about life after 40?

That it´s just like life before 40: it´s whatever you want it to be.

And a quick look at 5 of your favourite things:

Favourite Book: The Creative Habit, by Twyla Tharp

Favourite Film: One of my first favorite films was “Rocky.” I saw it at 14.

Favourite Place: The beach. Any beach.

Favourite Memory: My second wedding day, five years ago, on the beach.

Favourite Quote: “Live by reasons, not excuses.”